How Do I Know If I Need Relationship Counselling? 8 Vital Signs
Do I need relationship counselling? How do I 'fix' us'? Will this ever get better? HELP GUIDE ME PLEASE, I hear you scream!!
It's natural to encounter ups and downs in any relationship. However, distinguishing between a minor disagreement and a more profound issue requiring professional intervention can sometimes be challenging.
As an expert and a highly successful relationship coach and Master NLP/EFT therapist, I aim to guide you through understanding when it might be time to consider relationship counselling.
This blog post will look at the essential indicators that signal the need for external help, supported by statistics and expert insights, to ensure your relationship remains healthy and fulfilling.
How Do I Know If I Need Relationship Counselling?
1. Communication Breakdown
One of the most telling signs that a relationship might benefit from counselling is a significant breakdown in communication.
When conversations consistently lead to conflict, or you find yourselves avoiding discussions to prevent arguments, it indicates a deeper issue.
According to a study by the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), over 97% of surveyed couples reported improved communication skills after attending counselling sessions.
Effective and clear communication is the foundation of a healthy relationship. If you struggle to connect on this level, it might be time to seek help.
How Do I Know If I Need Relationship Counselling?
2. Trust Issues
Trust is another cornerstone of a strong relationship. Suppose you're experiencing jealousy, insecurity, or there has been infidelity.
In that case, these are clear signs that your relationship could benefit from professional guidance.
The Gottman Institute highlights that rebuilding trust is possible with the right interventions, emphasising the importance of counselling in healing and strengthening the bond between partners.
How Do I Know If I Need Relationship Counselling?
3. Decreased Intimacy
A decreased emotional or physical intimacy can signify underlying issues within a relationship. While it's normal for levels of intimacy to fluctuate, a prolonged period of disconnection can indicate more profound problems.
Counselling can help address the fundamental root causes of this disconnection, whether they stem from personal issues or relationship dynamics.
A study published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy found that couples who underwent therapy reported significant improvements in their sexual and emotional intimacy.
A big sign for me was when we started sleeping in different bedrooms, not just for one night or two because a child was up in the night and we were 'oh so tired', but long-term. Unfortunately, this meant our intimacy diminished with the lack of connection time. I immediately broached couples counselling with my partner, and our conversations started to blossom. YAY.
How Do I Know If I Need Relationship Counselling?
4. Ongoing Arguments Over the Same Issues
Finding yourself stuck in a loop of arguments over the same issues without resolution can be frustrating and damaging to your relationship.
This repetitive cycle often points to unresolved conflicts or unmet needs. Relationship counselling can provide the tools and perspective to break this cycle, fostering understanding and compromise.
How Do I Know If I Need Relationship Counselling?
5. Considering Separation
Suppose thoughts of separation or divorce have begun to surface. In that case, it's a critical sign that your relationship could benefit from counselling.
The National Health Statistics Reports indicate that couples who undergo counselling show a significantly lower divorce rate compared to those who don't seek help.
Addressing issues before they escalate to the point of considering separation can save a relationship.
As you consider the possibility of relationship counselling, it's essential to approach this decision with an open mind and a collaborative spirit.
Here are additional insights and steps to help you navigate this decision-making process more effectively.
How Do I Know If I Need Relationship Counselling?
6. Loss of Individual Identity
Both partners should feel comfortable in a healthy relationship to express their individuality and pursue personal interests.
However, if you or your partner have lost a sense of self or personal identity in the relationship, this could be a red flag.
If you have stopped doing the things you enjoy, this could be a clue. I had stopped seeing my friends because I didn't want to bore them with my situation, but that was when I needed them the most.
Counselling can help both individuals rediscover their own identities and learn how to integrate these individual selves into a harmonious relationship. This process strengthens the relationship and promotes personal growth and fulfilment.
How Do I Know If I Need Relationship Counselling?
7. Life Transitions and Stress
Major life transitions, such as the birth of a child, job loss, or relocation, can significantly stress a relationship. These changes can disrupt the equilibrium of your partnership and lead to conflict.
When you have a child, you expect it to strengthen you as a couple, but quite often, it can pull you apart! You may lack sleep for one, making it harder to communicate effectively, and your partner may feel ignored as your attention is on the baby.
Relationship counselling can provide the support and strategies needed to navigate these transitions more smoothly, ensuring both partners feel supported and understood during challenging times.
How Do I Know If I Need Relationship Counselling?
8. Lack of Conflict Resolution Skills
Sometimes, the issue is different from the presence of conflict (which is expected in any relationship) but rather the need for practical conflict resolution skills.
Suppose disagreements escalate into full-blown arguments without reaching a constructive resolution. In that case, it's a sign that your relationship could benefit from counselling.
Healthy relationships tend to 'talk' and 'discuss' issues and attempt to work through them from my experience.
A therapist can teach you healthy conflict resolution techniques, ensuring that future disagreements can be navigated in a way that strengthens rather than damages your relationship.
Steps to Take Towards Counselling
Open Conversation: Start with an open and truly honest conversation with your partner about your main concerns and the potential benefits of seeking counselling. It's essential to approach this discussion without blame or judgment.
Research Together: Look into counselling options, focusing on finding a therapist who specialises in individual or couples therapy and whom you both feel comfortable with. Consider the therapist's approach, location, availability, and whether they offer online sessions.
Set Goals: Before beginning counselling, discuss what you hope to achieve through therapy as a couple. Clear goals guide the process and ensure both partners are committed to the journey.
Commit to the Process: Relationship counselling requires both partners' time, effort, and commitment. Be prepared to engage openly in sessions and work on relationship issues outside of therapy.
How Do I Know If I Need Relationship Counselling? Conclusion:
Recognising the need for relationship counselling is a crucial first step in healing and strengthening your bond with your partner. Whether you're facing communication breakdowns, trust issues, decreased intimacy, repetitive arguments, or considering separation, professional guidance from someone like myself can offer new perspectives and strategies for improvement.
Seeking help shows strength and commitment to your relationship's health and future. If you find yourself facing any of these challenges, it might be time to consider relationship counselling as a path to reconnecting and rekindling your bond.
By acknowledging these indicators and taking proactive steps towards resolution, you can navigate the complexities of your relationship with confidence and hope.
Remember, every relationship faces challenges, but how you address them can make all the difference in building a stronger, more resilient bond.
While opening up to a third party may feel daunting, many couples find that counselling provides them with the insights and tools needed to overcome challenges and build a stronger, much more fulfilling partnership.
The goal of relationship counselling is not to assign blame but to uncover underlying issues and develop strategies for improvement. This will ensure that you and your partner are taking a significant step towards a healthier, happier future together.
Do you think your relationship has gone toxic? Take my relationship quiz here to find out.
If you've enjoyed learning about how do I know if I need relationship counselling, then you are going to love my post about Relationship Therapy Online.
If you'd like to take action now, you can join my waiting list for my 2024 'Harmful to Healthy Relationships Course' which will be launched soon. A proven way to change your current reality, change your toxic cycle and find love. Click here to be first in the queue!
Always here,
Livia